Friday 17 April 2015

A question and a conclusion.

For some reason known only to the gods my wife assured me that a super king size bed with the approximate dimensions of Greater London was the only one for us. In fact it's so big, or the room so small, that we have to sidle around it in order to get on board, and should the notion occur to either of us we'd need to take sandwiches for the epic journey across to each other's side. Even my supposedly fab iphone can't get all of it in shot so there's at least another fifty I can't photograph.

    So, as to the question and the conclusion. Why, oh why is it necessary to cover it with 8800000000 pillows weighing approximately half a ton every single morning, just so they can be taken off again every single evening? My friend reckons it's just a "woman thing," but when I ask her what a woman thing is she just looks pityingly at me and sighs with sad melancholy. Constant  misunderstandings aside, even if I wasn't working hard enough as it is, by the time we've put them back on the floor, all in the correct order, and "Don't you dare throw them!!" I'm so exhausted I can barely find the energy to climb up it's cliff-like sides. If we ever have a fire we'll both be incinerated.

   Apparently I'll never understand because I'm only a man.

   I'm often tempted to "forget" to close the door so the cats can romp about for a while, then they'll all have to be thrown out. Oh happy day.
  

8 comments:

  1. I could say it's a woman thing, but I hate having pillows on my bed to take down every night and put back on in the morning. Of course, our bed is where our dog loves to store his toys.

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  2. So it's not totally a woman thing. Great news. The only problem remaining is: why don't I understand?
    None of this is helped by the fact that some days I barely know what say it is. Perhaps it's because I'm stupid. My wife has never said as much but that smile tells all.

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  3. The pillows are there because they look pretty. I used to do the same but i am lazy and have quit making my bed so they spent time laying in a heap until I gave them to my mom who makes her bed daily and so piles them on it. The only function they serve is to look nice - like doilies for your bed ;) As to king size I am envious. We used to have a california king but have downgraded to a queen and we miss it terribly.

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  4. Don't miss it. Each sheet almost takes up an entire wash load in the machine.
    Doilies for the bed! Don't give my wife any more ideas.

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  5. We have a bed called a "California King", which means as big as yours in a room just as small. I love it -- but there are only four pillows, total, all meant to actually sleep on.

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  6. In terms of actual sleeping pillows, I have one like most normal men but my wife about another twenty of her own. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and seeing her almost vertical, think that I'm about to be attacked by a spectre or vampire - again. Don't ask, a long time ago I used to drink a lot. My neighbour still scurries away when she sees me, and grows garlic in her front garden.

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  7. Roger you will never understand so you might just as well admit defeat! Thanks for making me laugh on this chilly but bright Saturday morning.

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  8. Isn't it cold. I was going to help my daughter muck out her horses this morning but I told her she was on her own. It wasn't all my fault, my bed wouldn't let me go, and the thought of climbing over all those pillows was too much for may old body.

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