Sunday, 15 July 2018

My new painting is rubbish - and I'm delighted.

A strange thing to say you might think but I've been painting with Gimp and other packages for years now. What I always told myself in a continuing fit of artistic arrogance, was that if I was going to paint properly then I wouldn't use any of those gimmicks.

    Chief Gimmick amongst them was layers. (yes "amongst" is a real word - if you're English, anyway.)

    It's cheating, I told myself. If you had a piece of paper or canvas, or whatever you draw/paint/scribble on, then you'd only have one layer. So do it properly.

    That was a mask (pardon the pun) for the fact that I didn't understand layers or even the concept.

   But for a couple of weeks now, when I can get time to turn my pc, on I've been struggling with the incredibly (for me) complex problem of layers. 

    I must have the IQ of your average carrot because it's taken me all that time to get it.

    And here's my first (unfinished) painting using layers. I won't finish it because it rubbish. Now, finally I've got the hang of layers, even though I only used three - baby steps and all that. But I shall use them henceforth. It doesn't help that Gimp 2.10.4 is so vastly different from what went before. It's taken me a dozen years just to understand and remember that.



    Don't get me started on masks and all the other billions things left to master. I won't live to three hundred years old.

Sunday, 8 July 2018

A face so ugly you wouldn't...

I've just spent six hours painting a face.

    It's absolutely awful. It's actually meant to be awful, but not in that way.

    In the ten years of my so-called painting career I've always stuck to strange and weird landscapes, such as:

or: 

and occasionally something relatively normal like this:




    But never full faces. This is the result of all that hard work:


    If I can't resort to cloning something from the net, which is naughty, I suppose I'll try to find another way of portraying a man over a thousand years old, without using a face. Perhaps a photo of myself. Is that legal?

Saturday, 23 June 2018

A couple of pics and a noble act

A few people - well a lot, actually, have accused me of being verbose in my novels. Can't think why. But maybe it's true. I found this and just can't wait to get this into one of my books. Don't know how exactly but I'd love to try it.
    It's a real word, honest. Click the image to see it in all it's glory.
    It's the name of a virus. And people call me wordy.


    I nearly broke my neck getting this shot yesterday. And the fifty thousand ton truck bearing down on me nearly finished the job.

I wonder where the Moon was going in such a hurry. Does it know something we don't? All I knew was, that I didn't want to spend the end of the world in a traffic jam in Chiswick.
Again, you'll have to click on it to see properly

    And now for the noble act.

    Getting up for work this morning at some unearthly hour I was leaving the bathroom when I saw something guaranteed to give my wife a heart attack.

    Did I scuttle off giggling? Admittedly I was going to until I realised that the poor thing would be mutilated by the nearest heavy object lying to hand.

    We don't get large spiders in this country but what I saw almost took my breath away. Not much body but long, long legs like some exotic arachnid supermodel. I couldn't let it die. So I picked it up and deposited it in the garden beneath the shade of my new petunias.

    And did I get any thanks when I told my beloved? Not a chance. There followed an impressive list of profanities- some of which I don't think I've even heard before. And I've been to New York.


Saturday, 16 June 2018

It's only taken me ten years.

I've been posting on Blogger for almost a decade but finally I've done something I should have years ago.

    I've added another page with some of what I believe is my best artwork.

    It's cunningly entitled "Some of my artwork."

    You should have waited another twenty you might say. And perhaps you're right, but at least it's another way of storing my images which took a long time to paint, but more to the point, gave me a lot of pleasure.

I just won the National Lottery - again

I may be one of the few people who can honestly boast that I've won the National Lottery six times on the trot.

    I don't know how it is for the rest of the world, but in Blighty the National Lottery has six numbers.


    Get all six and one is soon to be rolling in dosh.


    Win five and the bonus ball and the windfall isn't quite as huge but still an awful lot of money.


    Four numbers and it's a few dozen quid.


    Three, and we get about seventy.


    If one is lucky enough to get two numbers, well the reward is a free lucky dip for the lottery of our choice.


    I've just got two numbers and a lucky dip, yet again. I won that lucky dip from a lucky dip, and that was from a lucky dip also. The one before that was from, you guessed it, a lucky dip.


    In fact all six wins have been from lucky dips.


    Now don't misunderstand me. I love winning the National Lottery, but just once what I'd really love is to win some actual money.






    Royal Ascot begins next week. You all know what I do for a living.

    Oh, Joy!!!

Sunday, 10 June 2018

My first painting with Gimp 2.10

This is my first effort with 2.10 - something or other. 2.10 was really unstable. Just like me according to "She"

    This is the upgrade. It still crashes a lot but apparently it's a lot better than the previous version, unfortunately in functions that I never use. However, it's free and a lot of people have put a great deal of effort into making as good/better than Photoshop. Whether they've achieved this I'll never know because I can't afford PS and I only only use a fraction of the tools in GIMP. One day I shall have to investigate layers.


Saturday, 9 June 2018

A Lancaster bomber just flew over my house.

This isn't the kind of thing you see every day, so imagine my surprise when a Spitfire

and a hurricane
roared over just twenty seconds later.

    Had world war three begun? I know the budget cuts have been severe. We've even dumped all the Harrier Jump Jets, and those euro fighters are a pile of junk. But, really, seventy year old aircraft to fight a war??????

    That's when I realised that it was trooping of the colours for the Queen today.

    I love the sound of those Merlin engines.



    It's been two months since I published my new novel. Sales figures are in and they aren't exactly impressive.

    Zero.

    Perhaps if I'd actually told anyone I might have shifted a few. That's where my writing gene is slightly warped. I love writing, and as I may have mentioned, I'd love a Porsche. But ultimately I just can't be bothered to advertise.

    So, back to novel twenty one. Naughty Mister Snodden is planning how to blow up the boarding school, complete with two hundred and forty snivelling brats.

    Pretty soon my hero will take action. Unfortunately he doesn't know anything about it, least of all the fact that he's a hero in the making. 



    I'm having fun.


    Oh, and this new forced update to Windows 10 is rubbish.

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