I'm an ancient old git

According to my soon-to-be-ex wife of thirty two years, I'm so ancient I'd make Methuselah look like a spring chicken in comparison. 

Thanks to clipart for the free image

    'As you're so old,' she said with a snigger yesterday, 'you'd better get a free flu injection before it's too late.'

     In all my years I've never had the flu, and if it's as bad as people say I'm pretty sure I would have remembered it. Anyway, I happened to be near a chemist's shop later in the day, only to be told that I was far too young for an NHS flu jab, and subsequently, I'd have to pay. 

     'How much?' I jibbered, expecting the price to be a small fortune. 

    'Oh, it's only £8, and you can't be too careful even at your age,' the assistant announced with the exuberance only a immortal teenage girl can produce, reminding me of someone else in my household. After resisting the urge to tell her exactly what she could do with the pamplet she tried to shove up my nose I left.

    And now I think I'm getting a cold.