It's a plot.

I've just got my scooter tarted up and running nicely after someone hit it whilst trying to park, when this morning someone ran into the back of me again!!
    The driver, who for a change stopped, seemed more interested in how the bone of my kneecap contrasted nicely with my (new) blood-soaked jeans, than the smashed remains of my hog, while I was deciding which part of him to remove and shove down his blundering clumsy neck - or perhaps some other orifice.
    On the plus side. Oh, there isn't a plus side so I'm going to miserable for the rest of the day and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me - so there!
    Needless to say, it doesn't look like this any longer and will be weeks more before it does.