I don't think I'm overly fussy but...

Firstly, I'm coming right out of the closet and admitting - I love Android.

    There, I've said it, and I'm proud.

    I bought the very first Android, appropriately named Android 1. It was full of bugs and barely worked but showed promise. Google must have thought so because they didn't even bother with Android 2 and a year or so later out popped version 3, and I've stuck with it since.

    That's where my problems began, and continue.

    The other day I popped into a phone shop to ask a simple question. When I say "a" shop, that's just a representative number for the thirty or so shops I've visited, with simple questions, or so I thought.

    The only problem is, that if you ask any of the so-called assistance for, well assistance, you get nothing. Here's a sample question:

    "When is Android Q coming out? I've looked on the net and called your customer support but they don't know."

    There, simple. Oh, didn't I tell you that if you mention that each Android platform has a name as well as a number then the look of furious puzzlement turns into a loud clanking in their heads, followed by a wisp of smoke issuing from their ears.

    When I asked in yet another shop if the next Nokia after mine was also going to be Octo-core I thought the women was about to suffer apoplexy. Good job I didn't ask something really complicated like: what day is it, or What did you have for breakfast?

  When I requested one of them to describe the (missing) phone specs of a new machine in yet another shop, brain-dead assistant's response was: "Well, it's black."

    Even when I get to the bank the situation's hardly any better.

    T'other day I ventured into my own branch, supposedly staffed with people with at least double figure IQ. I found someone milling aimlessly around behind the counter and after smiling nicely told him that my banking App was very good, but I happened to know that it wasn't going to work with Android Q, and did he know when the bank was going to upgrade the App, since my phone was going to upgrade me from Pi to Q automatically. After a terrified glance at the guard, the young man started fingering the panic button.

    Am I being picky? All I want is for the people who are selling me high-tech computer wizardry, to know at the very least how to switch it on, or the people guarding my meagre savings  to understand how to work all the computers and screens surrounding them.