# bored stupid.

 I hope these new Covid vaccines prove to be useful because I have never been so bored in my life. All the writing I'm doing is good fun, but I can't help but think, after just signing the sixth amendment to my work contract, that it's all going up in smoke. Although not in London, where it never, ever stops raining. But just to break the monotony I have to walk three miles through aforementioned rain this afternoon to pick up my motorbike from the garage where it's being repaired.

    Don't you have public transport in London, you might ask. Well, the answer is yes, but the route it takes is so long, I can walk it in half the time.

    Oh, and I've broken the tv. 

    Back to the writing I think.

My new idiot has had another slight hiccup after being arrested.

Fifteen minutes later, accompanied by about a hundred police, or so his swimming head imagined, the first questions began. His brain shuddered from the barrage of demands, then the open scorn, and finally the laughter.

   ‘You’re going to London,’ said the the man in charge, barely suppressing his laughter. 'So what are you doing here? London’s nearly two hundred miles away.’

   ‘Well, I was following that lorry,’ said Harold, attempting to salvage at least some of his pride.

   ‘You followed this lorry,’ said another, not even bothering to hide his amusement.

   ‘Well, yes, it's got London written on the back.’ There, that should stop them.

   ‘It’s also got Bradford, Leeds and Sheffield written on it,’ added another, barely able to restrain himself.

              'Yes, but I couldn't see that because of the mud, and as soon as it started          raining, the other words appeared.' 

   ‘But where did you start from,’ demanded another, not willing to be left out of the merriment.

   ‘Well, Coventry.’

   ‘And you were going to London?’ Now all had lost their restraint. Harold sat twitching, his privates still throbbing madly.

   ‘So let me get this right, said the Sergeant, if the stripes on his arm were to be believed. ‘You were going to London, from Coventry,’ he said with a giggle, ‘but you went north, then latched onto the lorry that was going even further north, and ended up here.’ The following ten minutes of mindless laughter would stay with him for a long time, along with the anger.

   ‘You never hear of a satnav?’