Saturday, 12 December 2015

Oh, dadsky?

In my daughter's twenty years on this planet I've had every permutation of my parental title.

         Image courtesy of google images.

"Oh father." Usually precedes scorn.
"Pater."      Same thing.
"Oh Dad?" A request for something I can't afford.

"Daddy!"   I've broken something.

     A couple of days ago she hit me with a new one, and although relieved that her vocabulary is finally growing, I had no idea what: "Dadsky"  preceded.

    I found out today. Bearing in mind that she already has an old pony, on its last legs - literally, and an enormous horse, so large in fact that after seeing Louis the Limp sleeping in his usual position, which is to say on its back with his legs wide open he tried the same thing and now has to have giant cushions on the floor of his stable since if he lies down he can't get up because the big galumph's legs are so long he gets stuck and squeals like something being slowly eviscerated. And as for their combined flatulence - even the Starlings and Swifts that usually frequent the stables have flown away to safer climes leaving several of their number behind comatose or dead.

    So back to Dadsky.

    My spawn has indicated her requirement for a donkey. Now don't get me wrong, I love donkeys. They're really cute even though they don't apparently do anything save standing in a field all day looking cute. Louis hates donkeys even more than he hates other horses. Richie, the aforementioned Klutz doesn't know what to make of them and after trying to eat the only donkey in the yard a couple of weeks ago galloped off screaming with his tail about two inches shorter after the donkey failed to see the funny side of it.

    "Why do you want a donkey? Why why why why?"

    Even falling back to her old standby hasn't worked, ie, "you hate me and wish I was dead."

    She won't let it rest until I beat her to death or give in. I'm beginning to consider the former.


  1. Just tell her a new one doesn't come in until an old one goes!

  2. A donkey. One tried to eat my purse once. Wouldn't let go of it. I didn't know the tourist town let the donkeys wander through the streets. I had to hide in a shop until it gave up.