This is what I want for Christmas.

In no particular order I want: a new computer with windows 11, or at least something better than 10, a new Harley, a new 911 Porsche, a big, but really massive win on the lottery because in England, at least, it's paid in full immediately and is not subject to tax. I would also like a google pixel phone, or at least a phone that works. All it has to do is make a noise when someone wants me and lasts for more than twenty minutes without recharging. What I would really like is a cruise around the Caribbean islands, and my own boat, a cigarette preferably. I would like to go back and live in Monaco, but this time as a rich layabout. 
    I'd love a private helicopter - that went mach two - and bills that paid themselves. Talking of tax, I'd like to be made the boss of the Inland Revenue so I could fire them all and never pay tax ever again.

    But what I'll get this year, just like every, every other year, is socks. Has anyone ever, in the history of the world ever uttered the phrase "Oooh, great, socks?" 
    Every year it gets harder and harder to put real sincerity in my voice.

    I've been painting again.

    Oh, yes; there's another thing I'd like. I know I'd have to sell all the above presents just to afford it, but I'd like to have Photoshop - and a little bit of actual painting ability.