Saturday, 11 May 2019


I was in my local supermarket this evening buying healthy food. Well no, that's a lie. I was buying chocolate cookies which comprise almost my entire diet these days. Despite that I'm still losing weight at an alarming rate. Maybe I should patent myself. But getting off the point somewhat.

    Talking to one of the assistants, she informed me that due to cost cutting the security guards had been removed.

  Now perhaps that's a usage of the word economy that I was previously unaware off. 

  Or perhaps, unlike anywhere else in the world, all the shop lifters have seen the error of their ways and begun paying for their food.

    As if.

    I'm not going to mention which branch it is lest an avalanche of thieving gits descend on my small village and boost everything that isn't bolted to the floor.

    Thanks as always to for all the images I'm totally incapable of painting.


  1. I used to work as a security guard. I feel personally affronted, somehow.

    1. Whenever I go in that shop in a suit nobody notices me. But if I'm in my motorbike gear, they follow me about like jackals. I won't miss the attention.

    2. Tesco is so cheap these days it's hardly worth knicking anything.
      Perhaps I'll start shopping at a higher class establishment where there's actually something worth stealing. At least being followed around will be worth it.