2 yrs old Drank half a pint of bleach.
3 yrs old Arrow through the eye - big brother
4 yrs old Broken skull - big brother.
First day of cross country training in the Royal marines.
Second day of cross country training in the Royal Marines.
I was in three helicopter crashes in my military time - all in the same aircraft and all with the same pilot, who after the third called me a Jonah, or words of approximately that description and refused to fly with me again.
I have a great photo somewhere of said broken Gazelle being lifted aboard an aircraft carrier later that day by another helicopter - which broke down. That night the aircraft carrier ran into a force ten gale in the Arctic Ocean resulting in the loss of two helicopters and a Hawker jumpjet which leaped gaily over the side; along with my Landrover. That wasn't my fault, or at least I don't think so.
And there was that unfortunate incident with a hand grenade and broken pin.
And that time the road collapsed in the Arctic beneath me and thirty thousand litres of high octane aviation fuel.
And that time when the truck load of surface to air missiles got too hot.
Then there was the military transport jet in the days when we could and I did smoke. After putting it out in what I thought was an ashtray, I saw a sign stating: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PUT CIGARETTES HERE! I spent the next four hour flight wondering which iceberg were were going to fly into.
And that time in Monaco when the forty million pound (£) yacht came adrift. I never touched it, honest; I was in the bar over the other side of the port trying to cool it up to a young lady.