It's only been six weeks but my love affair is over.

I don't usually become upset with inanimate objects because they're, well, inanimate, and I'd look a bit of a twit shouting obscenities at a piece of plastic. However I'm prepared for all the ridicule because I hate my iphone!! Notice the double exclamation marks.

    Am I the only person in the world who thinks that Apple's offering is the most overblown, overrated, under performing pile of junk ever invented? 

   For the past ten years I've been perfectly happy with my old Motorola flip phone which made a noise when someone wanted me and lasted for over ten days without recharge if I didn't use it too much. That's gone now, wafted off to meet it's maker. And ten years for a piece of hardware is pretty good going.

    But the iPhone. I've only had it for six weeks and bought on the heartfelt recommendations of love from my daughter. From day one I realised that the technical term for it is, or should be: A pile of utter junk. I turned the imessage on for the first time today and within four hours, of not even sending or receiving a single imessage, used up nearly all the battery six hours before finishing work and 6.9 MB of my precious download limit. 

    I see a bonfire coming on, and I'd better eat some beans because I'm going back to a very long piece of string and two cans.

Next day.

   I've bought a Galaxy Ace 4. I absolutely love it and were it not for a really stupid lock screen every time I try to dial someone (which is not removable) it would be the best android I've had since my ill-fated HTC Desire, with which there was an "incident".

Apparently horses love eating phones. I know my daughter's pony does; it's conveniently eaten two of her iPhones, just in time for the next one to hit the shops, but that's probably just a coincidence - not!