Wednesday, 17 February 2016

The computer is dead:long live the computer.

My new Windows 10 machine lasted for exactly two days. There was nothing wrong with it save for the fact that the processor had less power than my digital watch, the video card could barely squeeze out 16 bit graphics without seizing and, (this is a technical geeky term) it was a load of old crap.

    Thus two days ago I swapped it for another. Great I thought, I'll finally be able to find out what everyone's raving about. You always know when you've spoken, or thought too quickly because things go pear-shaped approximately three nanoseconds later.

    It's very difficult to find a desktop PC over here as the shops are trying to wean us all onto far more expensive laptops. So imagine my joy upon being able to buy the display model in the shop and imagine my chagrin upon discovering that it had the original version of Windows 10. 

    On the 18th of this month, that's tomorrow, my new fibre broadband  begins. An absolute guaranteed 30 with a hopeful 89 ish. So why didn't you wait, I hear you ask.

    Cos' I just couldn't. So, at four thirty five this morning after waiting seven and a half hours for my pitiful (is there an adjective even better at describing something not even good enough to be called rubbish?) 3.4 Mb broadband to stumble to a relived halt with a small sob from the smouldering router, I finally downloaded the last of the newest version.  By which time my wife reminded me  for the final time that she didn't mind me sitting up all night if I chose, but if I swore one more time and woke her again then the carving knife sitting atop the work surface of our kitchen would soon be plunged through my heart and directly into the computer which I'm bound to break in six months just like I always do.

    I even discovered a way of backing up the entire system, including all the applications I've installed to a flash drive, even though it's theoretical impossible without an external hard drive with the capacity of 10 to the 16th power of memory.

    Harley the cat is relieved, too. I haven't threatened to skewer him once since it finished.


  1. A load of old crap is the only technical term I understand! My hubby tells me we will be getting super-fast soon – I’m not sure I even know what it is, but he is very excited so I guess it will be something good.
    Harley looks super comfy in that chair – bless him!

  2. Ten years ago my head office in Singapore were getting 1 giga bit broadband. That's a thousand mbit which is about five times faster than even Virgin's boastful claims. I wonder what they're getting now.
    Harley does look comfortable since he only wakes up a couple of times a week to demand his dinner - and none of that Whiskas rubbish says he.

  3. I left laptops behind. Had all the fun I wanted from them. I went back to a desktop, but as you said, not the easiest to find.