Sunday 17 April 2016

Your dam's rubbish

Always full of friendly and constructive advice, my daughter looked over my shoulder and wiped the smile from my face.
    'That's the worst dam I've ever seen. And your water's defying gravity."
    I overcame the notion of slapping her senseless and reminding her that she'd never seen a dam in her entire short life and wouldn't know gravity if she walked into it, but as she's just bought one of my books I let it go and eradicated the dam for a dolphin, her fave animal after her beloved nags. 




    I don't know how many writers out there have tried to get their so-called family to read any of their work but for me it's been impossible upto now. And she'll probably never read it anyway. 
    'Daddy's little hobby' is how they laughingly refer to my writing and latterly daubing, and makes it sound as if I'm  doing something both immoral and illegal in my writing room. And no matter that I've been struggling with it for over twenty five years (long before the little brat was born) I still find it impossible to induce them to read my stuff.
   "Just tell me if it's any good, and then I'll change it if you think it's bad", I tried a few times to a conspiratorial sneer between them. But even that didn't work. Luckily I've found some good people, who with a reciprocal arrangement, read my stuff and tell me just how awful it is before I publish. 

    "And your rocks are totally awful," giggled my spawn half an hour later, "and I wouldn't set foot on that sand; it looks terrible," as she prepared to go off and do whatever it is young people do at night. I can't remember; it feels as if I've been stuck in this room writing rubbish and painting awful dams for decades.

9 comments:

  1. Harsh, very harsh but I guess that's what offspring are for.
    My spell checker wants to change offspring to offsprings but as I don’t know what offsprings are I shall ignore it!

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  2. That can only mean more than one. My life wouldn't be worth living. The thought of two young women destroying the house isn't worth the agony. I'd leave home.

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  3. You would love it Roger. Two loving daughters to look after you in your old age!

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  4. You would love it Roger. Two loving daughters to look after you in your old age!

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  5. You would love it Roger. Two loving daughters to look after you in your old age!

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  6. Yes, family critquing. What would we do without it? But congrats on her buying one of your books.

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    1. I'll bet my last penny she doesn't read it.

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    2. I'll bet my last penny she doesn't read it.

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    3. Blogger is duplicating everything...Blogger is duplicating everything...Blogger is duplica

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