I've been given a task. It's a filthy job but I'm tough and can bear it.
I've got to take a Bentley and drive it all the way to the south of France. It's just been rebuilt so I can't hammer it the way I used to. So it will just be a leisurely drive.
I know, I hear you say, what an absolute bore. But the summer is here and the grass is riz so I'll just take it gently and enjoy the view and see if I can get down there without some French coppers pulling me over twenty times just because of the English plates.
Between Calais and Paris the French spent squillions building a wonderful motorway, but as the car ownership per capita is so low in France it's mainly just the English using it, hence the name give to it by the locals as L'autoroute des Englais. But I'm ahead of them this time. A couple of years ago they brought in a new law which they didn't actually bother tell anybody about. Now I'm not saying they did it on purpose to collect more fines from the brits - well actually I am. Everyone using the motorway/autoroute must carry a high-viz jacket in the car, but no further away from the driver than his arm length. Got that one sorted.
With luck the 850 miles shouldn't take more than twelve hours; a short nap then back on the plane to blighty. I don't want to spend too much time down there. I lived in the area for over a decade and if I go anywhere I used to frequent (pubs in the main) I may never come back at all.
If I can I'll take a few snaps on the way, especially of the dordogne; the most beautiful place in creation.
The long drive will give me plenty of time to plan my new book. It's going to be completely different from anything I've ever written before and I'm seriously considering using a pen name. Don't know why; it's just seems like a good idea, but like most of my brilliant ideas, will probably turn out to be completely the opposite.