Caffeine and me

Sorry for my absence but I've been sort of busy.

    I made a bobo the other day. I had to collect a car from France. Nothing too unusual there. However, I also made an appointment for it to go into the garage upon my return.

    Now for the bobo part. I accidentally made the appointment for the actual day I came back.

    On approaching the south of France in the aircraft we passed through the most amazingly vast thunderstorm. That it was almost a hundred miles wide didn't really bother me until much later. As I was looking out of the window an incredible explosion engulfed the aircraft about three feet from my head.

    "Oh,", said the captain with a jaunty laugh, "you may just have heard a small thud, We were hit by lightning." I heard it. It nearly boiled my eyes.

    A couple of hours later I began driving the car and entered that same thunderstorm. It was like the end of the world - for two and a half hours. But I couldn't stop because I had precisely sixteen hours left to get back to England. The car I was driving only does about five miles to the gallon, so on the first fuel stop I had a double Espresso. I don't like coffee. I mean I really hate coffee, but it helps me to stay awake. At the subsequent and following fuel stops I had more double espressos. 

    By the time I got to Calais about eleven hours later I'd consumed about seven double espressos and I was like a zombie on steroids.

    Much later I got to England, and after another two and a half hour drive, dropped the car off at the garage and then decided to go home. It was about a minute after climbing onto my motorbike when the caffeine left my system. Talk about a danger to myself and everybody else on the road. I almost got killed about ten times on the way home.

    I mumbled something incomprehensible to my wife who'd very kindly made me some dinner, and without even disrobing, fell onto bed and wouldn't have woken again if WW3 had occurred. When I did emerge it was with the biggest hangover I've had in the decade since I stopped drinking.

    How can people drink coffee - it's horrible.