Thursday, 26 August 2021

I took a bit of a liberty

The other day I went to a well known shop which has much lower prices because they don't have to stock shelves. You just look through a catalogue, or computer these days, select what you want, then buy it. It's delivered from the warehouse to the front of the shop and off you go - all in about five minutes.

    On this occasion I bought a very cheap sound system for my PC, and after checking that I could bring it back if it didn't meet my requirements, went home happy and hopeful.

    An hour later I was back, to a barely hidden look of frustration from the same assistant.

    "But how could you know?" he exclaimed after confirming my address, "You've could barely have been home ten minutes before deciding it's no good."

    "That was long enough." I gave him my best pained grimace of frustration. Then added a slight hint of pathetic resignation for good measure. "It does work," I confirmed, "but it didn't work on my computer, and you said...." That was when I added the final touch. I began to rant in the accent from which I've been toiling all my adult life to escape. In England, everyone with a brummy accent, which to say the accent of the second city in the country (Birmingham) is deemed a thug and an idiot, or both. It might be apocryphal but I'm told that judges find any defendant guilty purely on the basis of this accent. I don't care - it never fails me.


    Two minutes later my card was re-credited and I was on my way.

    So I still don't have a computer with sound.

    Don't even get me started about Microsoft. "We are unable to identify your problem."

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