Sunday, 21 July 2013

Finished the first edit of The Book Of Pain.

When I began writing this book I firmly believed that it might be the best thing I've ever written. And that may still be possible. Yet after the first edit/rewrite I find so much that's wrong. There are a couple of scenes comprising two whole chapters which might have to go if I can't improve them. 

   For me that's always very hard; like destroying something I've created. I know now how Baron Frankenstein must have felt. So now I'll take a breather for a while and occupy myself with editing Three Hoodies 3. The complete change of pace will do me good.

  Here's an example. The death of his first love is a pivotal moment in my hero's extraordinarily long life. Yet there will be many more. Should I describe it in so much detail or just move on?

There she lay, composed on her brightly coloured bed, eyes closed and arms folded serenely over her chest. On the floor her father cried gently into his sleeve. Fletcher bit deeply into his knuckle at the unfairness of it all. The most wonderful, beautiful and kind person he’d ever met, dead at a faceless whim. He almost succumbed to the urge to kill, someone, anyone, even her drink addled father; raising his tear stained face to scream at the false god and all his evil minions. Yet he did none of these things for she would not have done so. Her gracious acceptance of her own fate had always made him feel ashamed of his own selfish brooding.  
With a sob of his own he leaned forward and finally gave Anne Marie that which he had never been able to in life; a gentle kiss on her sweet red lips.
Three hours later the farmer took his own life. 


   And for all the scholars out there; which is effectively everyone but me, I know I've made a mistake in the Latin translation. It's so difficult to conjugate the words. My newest effort is Libro Agonia, which still isn't correct but looks a little better than Libro Agone.

    No pizazz, no punch, if you see what I mean.


  1. I like detail, so I think you should add a little more to this. I think this book is your best yet.

  2. That's just an abridged version. In the final cut I'll make it longer since it, or rather she, is his first love.

  3. I commented elsewhere about leaving this ;)