Sunday, 29 December 2013

My wife is going to slaughter me.

When I'm at work, my entire day revolves around three things: Looking smart, driving cars, and answering phones.
    When I’m on holiday, which I am now, I do none of these. Thus after a week of Christmas holiday my beard is almost down to my ankles (according to she who must be feared) and if I don’t driver her to the shops, stable, best friend's house, or even worse answer the telephone pretty soon she’s going to end my miserable existence - apparently with a hammer.

    There’s plenty of time for all that when I go back to work, so the hairy one has been painting stupid things and dragged Three Hoodies 2 out of the cupboard.
    Here’s a selection of both; first the silly painting:
I really should be concentrating on my upcoming book covers but I can't be bothered.

And here, the first line of Hoodies 2 Old Geezers 2. This series is not for or about young adults so my characters' language is a little harsh at times. My biggest problem was beating or at least equally the opening line from Hoodies 1. I think I've settled on this, but like all writing it may change.

‘You nearly got swallowed by a giant slavering monster then crushed to crap in an earthquake, just for a lump of Iron Pyrite? You’re a total dickhead.

If I'm not pulped during the night, I'll be back to my usual blogging nonsense tomorrow.

I just realised that I didn't mean Hoodies 2 but Old Geezers 2. I must be getting as old and stupid as my characters.


  1. Interesting painting. As for Three Hoodies - nice line. As for answering the phone, my husband and I both avoid it.

  2. Good, so I'm not the only one on the globe who detests phones, then.

  3. I don’t blame you. We all have to recharge our batteries sometimes. I like nothing better than being in my pjs at half past three in the afternoon. That’s what answer phones are for!

  4. I've tried to tell my wife the same thing but she gets all red in the face and start shouting "blasphemy!" or other words that are a tad ruder.