Sunday 29 December 2013

My wife is going to slaughter me.



When I'm at work, my entire day revolves around three things: Looking smart, driving cars, and answering phones.
    When I’m on holiday, which I am now, I do none of these. Thus after a week of Christmas holiday my beard is almost down to my ankles (according to she who must be feared) and if I don’t driver her to the shops, stable, best friend's house, or even worse answer the telephone pretty soon she’s going to end my miserable existence - apparently with a hammer.

    There’s plenty of time for all that when I go back to work, so the hairy one has been painting stupid things and dragged Three Hoodies 2 out of the cupboard.
    Here’s a selection of both; first the silly painting:
I really should be concentrating on my upcoming book covers but I can't be bothered.

And here, the first line of Hoodies 2 Old Geezers 2. This series is not for or about young adults so my characters' language is a little harsh at times. My biggest problem was beating or at least equally the opening line from Hoodies 1. I think I've settled on this, but like all writing it may change.

‘You nearly got swallowed by a giant slavering monster then crushed to crap in an earthquake, just for a lump of Iron Pyrite? You’re a total dickhead.

If I'm not pulped during the night, I'll be back to my usual blogging nonsense tomorrow.

I just realised that I didn't mean Hoodies 2 but Old Geezers 2. I must be getting as old and stupid as my characters.
 




4 comments:

  1. Interesting painting. As for Three Hoodies - nice line. As for answering the phone, my husband and I both avoid it.

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  2. Good, so I'm not the only one on the globe who detests phones, then.

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  3. I don’t blame you. We all have to recharge our batteries sometimes. I like nothing better than being in my pjs at half past three in the afternoon. That’s what answer phones are for!

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  4. I've tried to tell my wife the same thing but she gets all red in the face and start shouting "blasphemy!" or other words that are a tad ruder.

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