Tuesday 3 May 2016

My odd humour almost got me skewered.




Back in those long-ago days, by which I mean pre-mortgage, pre-child and pre just about everything else I suppose, I finally succumbed to my new wife's pleading and bought her an eternity ring.
    Early nineteenth century Victorian old cut solitaire of about two carats - I know, it means nothing to me either.
    What I did understand was the price. I think it was about £6,500. A lot of money in 1985, but as I said, we were earning well, and tax free to boot. Since that day she's refused to take it off her finger, not even while mucking out horses.
    Yesterday afternoon, as I was watching NCIS my wife squealed a particularly loud wail of utter desperation. 'Alright I'll switch it off.'
    Unfortunately she wasn't referring to my TV preferences but to the empty socket of the eternity ring - sans diamond.
     This is where an enormous carving knife almost was inserted into my spleen.
    'It's insured,' she wept, 'so we shouldn't have any trouble...' that's where she stopped as I, still more interested in Ziva flouncing about the squad room in a particularly fetching outfit, muttered that I'd er, forgotten, to renew the house contents insurance.
      If I'd thought the first squeal was loud it was nothing to what followed.
   Luckily I'm intact. The insurance process has begun and although my wife still isn't speaking to me she's finally put down that gigantic knife.
      Time to reassess my idea of fun.

9 comments:

  1. wow that was a fancy ring!
    loved you blog! i'm following you! :) please hop on my blog and if you like it, follow me too!!

    xoxo!
    the-not-so-girlygirl.blogspot.com

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    1. It was a fancy ring and now it's gone. Followed your blog after my daughter saw it and threatened to hurt me if i didn't.

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  2. Good job, Roger. That's a dude for you. Oh, your poor wife.

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    1. Poor wife???????????? It was as if it was all my fault. I told her to take it off sometimes.

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  3. Will the insurance pay out if you forgot to renew? For your sake I really hope they do 😩

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  4. Just a second - were you having me and your wife on re the insurance? I guess the title of the post was the clue but I missed it!

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    1. I would never forget to insure it, but apparently it wasn't an eternity ring at all, but her engagement ring. Somehow that seemed to make it worse. The insurance is going to try to replace it before they offer us money. Good luck trying to find another old cut Victorian solitaire.

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  5. I can understand why your wife would feel the loss of her engagement ring more keenly. You might be surprised by the insurance company. Some years ago I broke a very old and rare ornament it was precious to me because it reminded me of my granny. It took a few months but eventually the insurance company replaced it. It wasn’t exactly the same but close enough.

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  6. If they offer her a second hand one with same value (and more importantly, size) I don't think she'll mind. With the way diamond prices change if they offer her a new one it will be half the size. My magnanimous offer to split it with her to buy another motorbike, was met with disdain. Can't think why.

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