I was minding my own business and...

I was standing outside my place of work this morning about 04.30. I was sick of the smell of food, and the stench of paint, which I later discovered when I got to the supermarket, was all over my face, hair and even up my nose.

    At my first sip of tea, surely Yorkshire Tea is a gift from God, it began to rain. 

    Never mind I thought, it's still Winter. 

    Except that as I ducked inside, it was only to discover that it was raining just on ME. The rest of the street was still dry and relatively warm apart from the gale force winds that have beset London for the past week. 

    And I spilt my tea, scalding hot, directly onto the only place on my anatomy that is both exquisitely painful and equally as embarrassing. I'll leave it to your imagination to guess where.