Dumbkopf

Yesterday, (whilst observing all the safe distancing blah blah blah) I assisted my soon-to-be son in law in the erection of a garden shed. The shed itself was only slightly smaller than Greater London, but that wasn't the problem.

    On the basis that most instructions for assembling, well anything, are written by someone with without any knowledge of English, let alone the ability to speak it, we ignored them.

    Two hours later we'd laid the floor and three of the four walls. As one we looked at each other. "Oh, bother", said I, or something like that as my socially distanced partner muttered a word along similar lines. Half an hour later we'd dissembled it and done what we should have done in the first place. Five hours later it was up, the sand encrusted felt for the roof installed and finally it was completed.

    Oh, and it rained all afternoon. Every single sodding second.

    The moral of the story?

    Pay someone else to do it.